Some Americans Lack Food, but USDA Won't Call Them Hungry

This is the lead for the Washington Post's most emailed story today and honest to God, I wish I was making this up.

The U.S. government has vowed that Americans will never be hungry again. But they may experience "very low food security."

Every year, the Agriculture Department issues a report that measures Americans' access to food, and it has consistently used the word "hunger" to describe those who can least afford to put food on the table. But not this year.

Mark Nord, the lead author of the report, said "hungry" is "not a scientifically accurate term for the specific phenomenon being measured in the food security survey." Nord, a USDA sociologist, said, "We don't have a measure of that condition."

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Mark, walk into a home where the family lives under the poverty line if that little number hasn’t been bureaucratically obfuscated, too. Open the refrigerator if there is one in the home. No food in there? Let’s call that family hungry. Wait! You might want to check the pantry, too. See any food there? No? I think we can safely make the HUNGER call.

Are they going without dinner? Missing more meals than they’re eating? Let’s call them hungry. Invite a doctor into the home. Does he (or she) see signs of malnutrition? Let’s call those people hungry.

The feds, of course, have a long history of setting noble goals, missing them, changing the rules, then declaring victory. It’s called politics as usual and all the politicians can go home happy and campaign for reelection.

Marky, Marky, Marky! You don’t have a measure for hunger? Get one! Pick up the damn dictionary and use that one. The Encarta Dictionary defines it like this: hunger (noun) 1. The need or desire for food. See if you can find the word in your Funk & Wagnalls. It’s that dusty brown book published in 1956. Find it somewhere in the building and look under “h.”

If you can't find a copy, call me and I'll send you my well-used American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, published in 1970. It defines hunger as a strong desire for food or more tragically as the weakness, debilitation or pain caused by a prolonged lack of food; starvation.

All any of us ask of our government is a little honesty. And a real effort to solve our social problems without resorting to declaring victory by redefining the problem. Anything less and we should ignore that "low food security" crap and start talking with our bureaucrats about "low job security."

PS: Want another easy definition, Marky? If they suffer from "low food security," they're "hungry."